I know I don’t write here often, I’m okay with that. I write here as God leads. Today I fell lead, though I’m not sure where it’ll take me. I just needed to thought dump and praise Jesus for this busy, beautiful life out loud.
So, how are things?
I’ve been busy keeping articles up on Big City Moms and Your Care Everywhere writing about mommy and pregnancy life, if that’s your sorta thing. I’ll also be starting at Daughter’s of the Deep soon and I’m super excited to see where God takes that and space to talk about my faith and encourage others more!
On May 4th I met with a book agent to get insight on the path I felt God had ahead with my book. I’ve wanted to write out my adoption story in book form for almost 13 years– I thought it would of been done by now! But, God has me doing other things first (like, um, grow some babies) and now seems to be taking my dream of a book down a whole different pathway. I prayed hard over this meeting and that it would bring light and new connections…and, boy, did He. The gate of ideas flew open and I’m so excited to expand on that soon! Exciting things are coming, not just to help others, but hopefully provide for our little {big} family as well.
Additionally, I’ve been trying to start an Embrace Grace group within my church to support single ladies facing an unplanned pregnancy…and we are finally making some headway with that! I so desperately want to be a voice of encouragement within my local community to those who are in the place I was 11 and 13 years ago– young, alone, pregnant, scared– but it has to be His timing.
I feel like this is a season of blossoming even more into the woman God has designed me to be. I feel full and fulfilled, at peace with where I am right now while being super excited to see what God has in store! I love having my hands and heart in many different areas right now– whether that’s at home with my littles, writing an article, or dreaming up the next step for my book and career.
But, really, how is going with FIVE?
I love the shock face people make when I tell them that I have 5 kids. It’s hilarious! I’m sure though it’s partially because I look younger than I am. Truthfully, life with 5 is much like life with 3 or 4. What’s another one? 🙂 What’s another mouth to feed, another seat belt to buckle, another person to dress or snuggle? I’m pulled in many directions throughout my day and at times it is overwhelming…yet I can’t help but think in quiet moments like this, where all are content and my check list is done for today, that I just revile in God’s goodness. It’s so worth it.
I never knew I wanted this life.
I never knew to dream of a big family, I didn’t know this is where I would end up and that this life is what I needed or desired. I get that question a lot, “Did you always want a big family?” A big fat NO! My siblings were 10 and 13 years younger so I was more like a babysitter at times and their loud stomps and early mornings made me never want to be a mom ever at times. I also never wanted to give birth either because I thought it would be super painful, so I’d just adopt (my 10 year old says the same thing now, so we’ll see what God does with that one day!) buuuuut we see how that has turned out in reality. ha!
God sure likes to pull us out of our comfort zone – and what we think is best for us.
I’m sure God is laughing and nodding with a knowing smile as I write this…knowing that He knew what was best for me and what I would love. I love knowing He has the big picture and knows the depths of my heart even more than I.
Outside of our comfort zone is often something amazing. A year ago when I found out I was pregnant with our 5th, it felt very much out of my comfort zone. I truly wondered what God saw in me of all people to parent 5 kids and how I was going to manage it all. A year later, I can’t imagine my life with out of “Lylah Bean” that smiles and coos at me daily with her bright blue eyes and makes my heart nearly burst with joy. And sure, sometimes I lose my cool, but with God’s help I’m doing this parenting thing. He reminded me over and over during pregnancy that He is my strength and equips me…and He sure is.